your grave... upon my free will!

I Am Stretched On Your Grave
(lyrics by Dead Can Dance)

"I am stretched on your grave... and will lie there forever...
With your hands held in mine... I'd be sure we'd not sever...
My apple tree!... my brightness... 'tis time we were together...
For I smell of the earth... and am stained by the weather...?!

When my family thinks, that I'm safe in my bed...
From night... until morning ...I am stretched at your head!!
Calling out... to the air!... with tears both hot and wild!!?? ...Oooh....
I grieve for the girl... that I loved as a child....

The priests and the friars.... behold me in dread!?
Because... I still love you!... My love... and you're dead...?
I would still be your shelter!!! From rain... and from storm!
And with you... in your cold grave... I can not sleep warm!"


My love for you, will never die!
You'll live still... in my sorrow for life!

Sandy B.

Edition to "fighting EVIL with EVIL"!

why?

... coz... Im not afraid of ur darkside! Ive been swallowing poison all my life... coz the hand that "feeds me", is the most evil of All!... and hey... I'M STILL ALIVE!

I guess YOU JUST DON'T BELIEVE MY BITE!... still... do you hear me ROAR already!? ...and... soon enough... my harsh cradle of rocks... you'll feel this STING BITE of mine, as well...

I'LL promise YOU this MUCH!

As sure... as my HATE for ... you... "our incompetent creator"!!! (aka "god").

WOMAN... as in AMAZON women, like they did before, will take THE EARTH on their own two hands... AGAIN!

Sandy AMAZON IN me!

I AM RIGHT...

... there.
My love is true.

Your place in me... feels my heart free!

Laura's Hill (by Gary Stadler & Singh Kaur)

"There's a place in my heart... that I visit so often.

One look in your eyes... takes me there.
As we walk Laura's hill, in the magic of twilight... your hand holding mine... takes me there.
(...)
And to think I never knew... of your secret garden?

And to think I never knew... of your secret place?
(...)
May I walk there awhile... with you my love? ... unto the garden meadow... of your sacred heart?
(...)
There's a place in my heart... that I visit so often.... one look in your eyes... takes me there."

I'm there. With or without you... my love only flows unto your sacred heart... mine is just this small part... this secret love is only yours... ever and all... my world... in thy heart already knows.

Sandy Bloom!!!!!!

I miss you...

... I do.

I FIGHT evil with evil!

"You Don't"
(song by Tricky... and lyrics "by me"... as they dont give the words written with the albuns!?)

Ragga :
I fight evil with evil... I fight evil with evil
Believe me how you found me, took away my self-esteem!?
Anytime you're ready?...
Tricky :
You don't, you don't... You don't, you don't...
You don't, you you don't... you don't wanna even try!?

Ragga :
I sleep, but get no rest!?...
You scheme!... but god knows best...
Seconds of trying... I was actually... dying!!! oh no...?!
When you drown... in your devil's music,
I did everything to use it...
Tricky :
You don't, you don't... You don't, you don't...
You don't, you you don't... you don't wanna even try...

Ragga :
I'll trust you... if you're trustful...
And use you... if you're useful...!?
Really smooth... really evil...
And if you're here... and that is reason!
Giants strike... in twelve tribes... and it takes a second to wreck it!?
Sixty seconds?... forget it! I guess you dont hear me... roar?!

Tricky :
You don't, you don't... You don't, you don't...
You don't, you you don't... you don't wanna even try!?
Ragga :
I guess you dont hear me roar!
I'm not looking into yours (eyes?)... I'm looking mine...
Looking south (soul?)... quiet but discreet...
Echoes to see.. on an unsuggested stream!? an unsuggested mean!

Take it to the top... unstable the times!... unstable the walk!?
Unbearable... unsearable... popular demand!
From cradle to grave, is Abel buried a man!
With my money and felonies... we'll conquer the clearance!
Building up extensions... of potential... but I guess you don't hear me... roar?

Tricky :
You don't, you don't... You don't, you don't...
You don't, you you don't... you don't wanna even try!?
Ragga :
You don't, you don't... You don't, you don't... even wanna try...
Tricky :
You don't, you don't... You don't, you don't...
You don't, you you don't... you don't wanna even try!?
Ragga :
oohhh noo....You don't, you don't...
You don't, you... you don't wanna even try!?
Tricky :
You don't, you don't... You don't, you don't...
You don't, you you don't... you don't wanna even try!?"

why?

Sandly Bloom!

4th and FINAL TATTOO post! ;)

(...)the continue of Ani's lyrics

I had leave the house of conformity, in order to make art

I had to be more and less true, to learn to tell the two apart

I had to leave the house of fear, just about as soon as I could crawl

Ignore my face on a wanted poster, stuck to the post office wall

I had leave the house of self-importance, toodle my first tattoo

To realize a tattoo is no more permanent... than I am!

And who ever said that life is suffering,I think they had their finger on the pulse of joy

And the power of transcendence... made its grace a practice we can employ"

SandyB.

tattoos "part 3"!lol

The say we "all get the tattoos" we "deserve"... even when we are not "sure"... sooner or later we'll understand its meaning... and so it happened to me, with my first tattoe. I did it with "one reason" in mind, to realise later on that it meant so many other things "I also am"... or aim for... anyway...

Once u start u cant stop! I

dont do more, due to "money issues"... still... I had a few more ideas in mind... :)

SB

...my tattoos, as "my life decisions"...

(...) lyrics by Ani di Franco

"I had to leave the house of privilege, spend christmas homeless and feeling bad

To learn privilege is a headache, that you don't know that you don't have

I had to leave the house of television, to start noticing the clouds

It's amazing the stuff you see, when you finally shed that shroud

(...)"

Shoulder: the moon above the sun... meaning the feminine will STRONGER than the male/sun... I will not bend!

Belly:ir was the first, so its personal enough not to leave the "reason" here... even "under some nick"!;)

Sandy B

Shroud (lyrics by Ani di Franco)

"I had to leave the house of fashion, and go forth naked from its doors...

'cause women should be allies and not competitors

I had to leave the house of god, because the cross replaced the wheel

And the goddesses were all out in the garden, with the plants that nurture and heal

I had to leave the house of privilege, spend christmas homeless and feeling bad

To learn privilege is a headache, that you don't know that you don't have

(...)"

Hand tattoos: Runas over the life lines, trying to end "old Karma" & this "living life" Im living now... most ppl that tattoo, dont agree to do it on ur hands, coz it really hard to "print the ink".

Most of the tattoo in bothe hands, has vanihed already (and it hurt like hall! plus the very long time to heal!?)... but they needed to be done... and most of it sticked as it should!

..to be continued...

Sandy BLOOM!

Numb... trying to deceive *god*?

I'm numb to god's will lately...
I feel like I know where I belong, I know why Im "around", but do not feel like it is "god's will" to let me be "happily" along...

I do not believe God is aware from "where I stand"!? I could care less...

I'll keep following my heart... and whispering for my blessings to the "mother-goddess"!
My earth, my life giving... my everything:)

Waking up to Portishead song today... #NUMB#:
(...as Portishead dont share their lyrics, when we buy the album, this is the "lyrics I hear", while she sings "to me"...:);))

"...I'm ever... so lost... I keep in my way...
Been searching, but I have never seen... a turning... a turning from deceit?!

Coz the child... roses like.... tried to reveal what I could feel?
I can understand myself... anymore...
Coz I m still feeling lonely... feeling so unholy!?
Coz the child roses like... tries to reveal what I could feel?
...and this loneliness!... just won't leave me alone...!?

I'm fooling somebody... a faithless path I roam...
Deceiving to breath this secretly... this silence!... a silence I can't bear!?

Coz the child... roses like... tries to reveal what I could feel... still... this loneliness... just won't leave me alone!
...oh and this loneliness... just won't leave me alone...

Ohh no... already on a war... a lady on a war...
...a lady of war!"

SandyB

Come away with me... so I can walk away from me...

Candy says (lyrics by Beth Gibbons)Candy says, I've come to hate my body... and all that it requires in this world

Candy says, I'd like to know completely... what others so discretely talk about?

I'm gonna watch the blue birds fly... over my shoulder

I'm gonna watch them pass me by... maybe when I'm older...

What do you think I'd see, if I could walk away from me?

Candy says... I hate the quiet places, that cause the smallest taste of what will be...

Candy says, I hate the big decisions... that cause endless revisions in my mind...

I'm gonna watch the blue birds fly... over my shoulder

I'm gonna watch them pass me by... maybe when I'm older...

What do you think I'd see... if I could walk away from me?

wandering lights...

WANDERING STAR (lyrics by Portishead)

Please couldn't you stay a while to share my grief,
It's such a lovely day to have to always feel this way,
And the time... that I will suffer less,
It's when I never have to wait...

Wandering stars,
For whom it is preserved... the blackness, the darkness, forever...
Wandering stars,
For whom it is preserved... the blackness, the darkness, forever .

Those who have seen the needles I now tread,
Like a husk from which your darkness now has fled,
And the masks that the monsters wear... to feed upon their prey...

Wandering stars,
For whom it is preserved... the blackness, the darkness, forever...
Wandering stars,
For whom it is preserved... the blackness, the darkness, forever...

Doubled up inside,
Take a while... to share my grief!?
Always doubled up inside... taunted... cool....

Wandering stars,
For whom it is preserved... the blackness, the darkness, forever...
Wandering stars,
For whom it is preserved... the blackness, the darkness... forever.


sandy

Today's morning song... #SLY#

"Sly"

[by Massive attack]

"I try to believe what I feel these days... it makes life much easier for me

It's hard to decide what is real these days... when things look so dizzy to me

I already know my children's children's faces... voices that I've heard before...

There's always more... there's always more!?

Wondering... leaving the sea behind... to my home, which everybody owns...

Wondering... wondering...

Where we can do what we please...

Wondering...

I feel like a thousand years have passed... I'm younger than I used to be

I feel like the world is my home at last... I know everyone that I meet!?

Somewhere... in the music... I can hear the bells I heard... a thousand years before!

There's always more... there's always more!

Wondering... is this there all there is?

Since I was... since I began to be...

Wondering... wandering...

Where we can do what we please!... Wondering!"

ingenuous

... back then... when life was so simple... when i had no idea, i would ever experience love... and pain... as i did, while loving you... my sweet bela...

MY HEART (lyrics by K's Choice)

Not so long ago,
We both felt love became a... word... No more than that
With sex, that felt like wings... without a bird


The only thing... that we both love...
Is in the cradle that we rock
Six hands, six feet, but just one beat...
The ticking of the clock


I always heard I could get hurt,
(I knew that from the start...)
Break my face, my back, my arms, my neck...
But please don`t break my heart!
Break my face, my back, my arms, my neck...
But please don`t break my heart...


Solid wood... will rot...
If you don`t keep it from the rain...
We were surprised when we found out,
That love feels just like pain?!

I always heard I could get hurt...
I knew that from the start...
Break my face, my back, my arms, my neck...
But please don`t break my heart!
Break my face, my back, my arms, my neck...
But please don`t break my heart... "

But u did, didnt you?

And now... what will become of me? I had to promise my heart... that if "it" would stop bleeding... i would never love again... will it doesnt bleed no more... it just hurts... still... i need to keep this promise, dont i?

Im forbidden to love beyond... your heart... I'm bound to luv u for ever... or I'll bleed for good!????

Like a rock... i just "stand"... I stand "pretty" and smiling... like this never ending picture... with no click... i'm just freeze to love!? out of this heart of mine... that is... yours.

sb

*Good Weather For Airstrikes*

(lyrics by Sigur Ros - kind of translated to English)

"I Slide Forward... Through My Head
I Think Half Way... Backwards
I See Myself... you... Sing The Anthem We Wrote Together!

We Had A Dream... We Had Everything...
We Rode To The End Of The World... We Rode Searching?
Climbed Skyscrapers... Which Later Exploded!?
The Peace Was Gone... Balance Leaks Out... I Fall Down...
...Sliding Forward Through My Head...

I Always Return To The Same Place...
Total Silence... No Answer(But)...
The Best Thing God Has Created:
It's... A New Day coming again tomorow..."

Sandy Bloom

...your love indifference...

"Indifference" (by Pearl Jam)

"I will light the match this mornin', so I won't be alone... watch as she lies silent, for soon light will be gone...

I will stand arms outstretched, pretend i'm free to roam...

I will make my way, through, one more day... in hell...

How much difference... does it make?

How much difference does it make...

I will hold the candle... till it burns up my arm!...

I'll keep takin' punches... until their will grows tired...

I will stare the sun down... until my eyes go blind!

hey... I won't change direction, and i won't change my mind!?

How much difference... does it make?

How much difference does it make...

How much difference...

I'll swallow poison, 'til I grow immune!

I'll scream my lungs out!!! till it fills this room...

How much difference... how much difference... how much difference... does it make?

How much difference... does it make..."

Sandy

Its raining like crazy today...*sigh*

... and it's definetly NOT the best way... to start one more day... without the sights of you...

...more "dancing mirrors"...

MIRROR (a poem by Sylvia Plath)

Mirror

"I am silver and exact.
I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful-The eye of the little god, four cornered.

Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles.
I have looked at it so long, I think it is a part of my heart.
But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.

Now I am a lake.
A woman bends over me, searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.

I am important to her.
She comes and goes.

Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman rises... toward her day after day, like a terrible fish..."

SB

Is God wise at all?

By Marion Zimmer Bradley (more or less translated...)

"What wise God(ess), would condemn a person to hell for ignorance, instead of teaching him/her better in the 'after life'?"

SB

Waking Up to this song...

...I usually wake up with a song "in my head", that will (normally?!) set my mood to the rest of the day...

Today's song wasnt so "bright", still... my brain is something way OUT of my control! *sigh*

So here it is... "today's mood":

Artist: Telepopmusik lyrics

Album: Genetic World

Year: 2001

Title: Breathe lyrics

I brought you some something close to me

And left with something new

I can see through your head

You haunt my dreams

But theres nothing to do but believe!?

Just believe... Just breathe... Another day... Just believe... Another day... Just breathe... Another day... Just believe... Another day...

Just breathe! I’m used to it by now...

Another day... Just believe... Just breathe... Just believe... Just breathe...

Lying in my bed... Staring at the ceiling!

Just breathe... Another day... Another day... Just believe... Another day...

I’ m used to it by now!

I’ m used to it by now... Just breathe!

Just believe...Just breathe...Just believe... Just breathe...Just believe...Just believe... Just breathe...Just believe...Another day... Just believe...Another day...Just believe... Another day...Just breathe...Another day...

Just breathe... I dont believe!

Another day... Another day...

SB

"two Geishas In love..." (by S.Bloom!)

(my sad "life story"... in something I wrote... 5OUT08)

They just gaze... love inlove

Sometimes hug... souls in hands

But never... even... touch.

And with no first kiss...

With no even such...

Her eyes... will be all I'll miss.

by Sandy

I choose the dream instead...

I dont promise, I will not wish to love you in bed, but I promise you, I will not compromise you in flesh again... coz, being happily in love within, would be putting both our hearts in danger of survival...
Keeping my love at a distance, will spare her being crucified in its name...

It shall be written, it shall be done.

I love you, I leave you... you love me, you let go of me... let's keep it safe... away from god's envy...

I will not tempt you no more.

I choose to dream you instead.

SandyB

23/24 Setembro 2008

"Two fools Dancing!" (by Sandy B.)

Dance me... having you,

dancing for the fool... Life greatest fall!

...just me... dancing up the stream, my wings unfold!

Legs keeping up your stroll...

..slow, flowing slow...

Letting it flow... still so slow!

Flow, slowly flow...

Strolling legs together, a flying plan so bold!

Stringing OUT my scheme, greeting life's fever...

...just another fool for dance!

While dancing... you may.. have me...

Sandy

A poem by Sir Thomas Wyatt

'Forget not yet the tried intent'

Forget not yet, forget not this,

How long ago hath been, and is,
The mind that never meant amiss.
Forget not yet.

Forget not yet thine own approved,
The which so long hath thee so loved,
Whose steadfast faith yet never moved:
Forget not this.'

And I will promise I'll never forget you... my first true love... wherever your dreams are these days, pls know that... my dreams are right there too!

Sandy Bloom

"Mothers of wood" vs Motherhood

"Mothers of Wood" (by Sandy)

In grace we fall,
for you my place
In chance I saw,
your love displaced
No harm was done... no warmth was run
None,
but my sun... you've swallowed in turns
In grace we fall,
from love recall
In chance I pray... your love in... may?

1 dez08

Hey! This is "cyber me"...

...most of this blog will be my "wishing i'd be", more than the "real me"... so... dont bother searching "cyber me" in real life (or look in here for "real facts"), coz... for reality... we all have enough of it OUT there... right?;)

The only (for sure!) "true fact" in me, while blogging here, is:

Im a LESBIAN.

See you around... :)
Sandy Bloom