Mia Couto (in "A chuva Pasmada")

"Ante o frio,
faz com o coração,
o contrário que fazes com o corpo:
despe-o.
Quanto mais nu,
mais ele encontrará o único agasalho possivel:
amor num outro coração."

"31" by rayaah (http://rayaah.shoe.org/)

This is one of the most beautiful texts I ever read on loving someone "for life". It was written by this "shoe girl", whose nick is "rayaah", at www.shoe.org... (it was once a nice lesbian site, but lately (& unfortunately!?sigh) it has become a "money making machine"... oh well... still, there are nice ladies still resisting in there! You go sisters!
Hope you might "love this ode" aswell!:)


"No form of art, no type of expression can ever convey the feeling I have…My physical and moral exhaustion, the explosion of emotions I have undergone, the tears of love, of pure happiness…

I went from meeting friends I hadn’t seen in years, and their daughters, both of whom I saw the first day they breathed, the love they gave me, the memories brought up by a few words, a hand resting on a knee, a color of skin, an expression…To my glorious Africa…

I watched the semi jungle, the intricate patterns of leaves, the parasite plants gracefully invading unbelievably beautiful trees, the lines of coconut trees, the formidable baobabs, home to magic forces, the waves breaking on rocks, the lakes, the whole voodoo land…And for the first time in my life, I understood the serenity it brought only meant what I saw mirrored my own inner self…I will carry it everywhere, all my life…
Add the happiness of a mother to see her son come unexpected, being shown various plants I don’t know, being offered fruit by people who have nothing, children waving, finding myself in the middle of a typically African yard untying crabs, running after them, being spoken to in Mina, and I am already far, swimming in my own essence, finding answers to questions that do not exist, self-evident peace after so much pain, and I am a walking overwhelmed African, who has worked so hard to get to that peace of mind the emotion is just too pure.

And as life has to go on, I found myself meeting a friend, who invited me to get what my angel sent…Overwhelmed...I felt honoured by the woman I love, incredibly blessed, and already, I could not express it, even to her. Her handwriting, her perfume…My wife, a few seconds from me, a touch from me, her love surrounding me...And I was just unable to say she is all my life...She knows...What she gives me fills me with so much happiness I find no words…Little did I know then…

A few hours later, waiting for my friends, who rely on me, and for whom I have tried to be strong all year long…The smiles, the shy hugs, the words…It feels so incredibly great to see that smile, hear that voice again…Speaking of my angel…And telling me she has been an angel without telling me…It makes me smile…And love her more each second…But what I do not know yet is that I am about to live the most beautiful and overwhelming moment in my existence…I don’t even know how to express it…
The thought, the time, the energy, the love, the taste, her voice, her words, her explanation, the Taureanness…The tears of love…I have never felt so much , so well loved, and so eager to offer my life to anyone, because I know it is all I have, and it belongs to her. I don’t know if it is the new emotions she has brought into my life…I just have no words…
They never sound powerful enough for her…I could say she looks beautiful, right now, as I am writing…She is so incredibly beautiful…But it is more than that…It is my soul running in her veins, hers in mine, in such a true and healthy way I cannot believe it…The woman I am watching, smiling in her sleep, is the most beautiful part of my past, she makes of my present life the happiest, the most fulfilling moment in my existence, and she embodies all my future…Timeless love.

I never thought I would ever meet anyone who could love in the exact same way I love…I never thought I would ever call a woman my wife…I never thought it was possible to watch one’s own love grow each second, and shine on every event, every thought, every dream…Today, I received more love than I have ever felt in my life…
And there are no words I could write that could express it, I don’t think I could ever feel more complete, closer to my own Truth, than now, watching over her sleep as I am willing to watch over her life…

I will never thank you enough…I will never thank life enough…
I am SO blessed."


Your comment: http://rayaah.shoe.org/

Sept 02 2009, 02:31:20
So beautiful it made me shiver! lol thank u... I needed to hear that it is possible to feel this *again*: "I don’t think I could ever feel more complete, closer to my own Truth, than now, watching over her sleep as I am willing to watch over her life…" (by "fijen" - one of my many nicks back then!;))

Aug 30 2009, 09:32:28
your words i understand so well and for that i am lucky, lucky to have found in a person the samething you have found in your lady. And i will be so happy when you both are in each others arms. happiness and true love it's what keeps me alive hugs xxx (by "shaz62")

"Todas as Cartas de Amor são Ridiculas", já dizia Fernando Pessoa...

"Cartas"

a mão arrefece sem assumir o medo,
sigo sem poesia, noutra carta dormente
e encerro a onda seguinte, num carimbo de sangue
há sonhos para lá da corrente
o anel ainda mexe, diz aluir pedidos ao ar
entre linhas que deviam calar, enrolar cada instante,
ela rasga mais um pedido a quente:
abraça-me no que voar por dentro!
o alecrim quer responder por mim: "sim"
restam bolhas, espuma e madrugada,
mas velarei amor noite fora
em sua barca, eu... e a minha amante mais amada.


12 Abril 2010

"O Amanhã"

*O AMANHÃ*

Não sei o dia de amanhã? Não faço questão.
Planear futuros está fora do meu alcance. Prevejo, antevejo, sinto, tenho direcção, mas não posso dirigir-me ao local de encontro sozinha.
Tenho que esperar que o mundo em meu redor me acompanhe, ou me queira acompanhar…
Que el@ perceba o meu trajecto comigo e queira fazer parte de um todo, no seu conjunto: a dois.
Não me adianta amar alguém na sua essência, saber ser capaz de @ fazer feliz, se esse alguém não quiser a felicidade comigo: a meias.

Não sei @ dia de amanhã? Não faz mal.
Eu sei que el@ virá assim mesmo...
O melhor a fazer é abraça-l@ sempre; e desejar que (sonhar que?) el@ queira um abraço a meias comigo.

Não sei o que me espera @ amanhã? Não espero mais nada.
Sei que amá-l@ (amar-te?) fará sempre parte de mim, mesmo que não sejas tu a amá-l@ comigo...


Lx, 2 setembro 06