I'M OUT OF RANGE!

Letter to a John... (Ani Difranco lyrics)

Don't ask me why I'm crying?... I'm not going to tell you what's wrong...

I'm just gonna sit on your lap... for five dollars a song...

I want you to pay me for my beauty... I think it's only right...'cause...

I have been paying for it, all of my life!?

I'm gonna take the money I make... I'm gonna take the money I make...I'm gonna take the money I make... and... I'm gonna go away...

We barely have time to react in this world, let alone rehearse!?

...and I don't think I'm better than you, but I don't think that I'm worse!

Women learn to be women... and men learn to be Men...

...and I don't blame it all on you, but I don't want to be your friend...

I'm gonna take the money I make... I'm gonna take the money I make... I'm gonna take the money I make... and I'm gonna go away...

I was eleven years old, he was as old as my dad... and he took something from me, I didn't even know that I had?

...so don't tell me about decency, don't tell me about pride!?

Just give me something for my trouble,'cause this time... it's not a free ride!?

I'm gonna take the money I make... I'm gonna take the money I make... I'm gonna take the money I make... and I'm gonna go away...

...don't ask me why I'm crying?! I'm not going to tell you what's wrong... I'm just gonna sit on your lap... for five dollars a songs...

I want you to pay me for my beauty, I think it's only right!

I have been paying for it, all of my life!

Now I just wanna take... and I'm just gonna take... I'm gonna take... and I'm gonna go away...

sb

Where's the "luck" in loving?

'Bossa nova' (by shivaree)

Well... I think I hate you!?... Isn't this fun?

You're gonna shoot...And I... darling... 've loaded the gun?!

I think I'm done.

What train did you step off of ?...anyway... I really don't care.
I'm the luckiest... girl?!... 'gonna lie with you baby...
'Cause... there's nowhere else, I can... lay...?

I'm never talking... to you again...
I'll go join the marines! ...and then...
...I will peacefully sail... away with some safe magazines...

Did you hear what I say?

You can't fall down the stairs, two times the same way!?

...and... I really don't care...

I'm the luckiest girl!?... 'gonna tell you... I love you!

...more than anything else... I can... see.

If people were cars, I'd be covered with scars?

I'll hold on to my dignity... I bought this old dress, to cover the mess... Don't take it off!? I don't want you... I don't want you... to see!!

Stop singing that song!

I'll stand hard like a tree... Yeah!... you make me sick!?

You!... red razor nick! get your hot hands off of me!?

Maybe you're from the moon? Sensibility tells me that... this is too soon!? Oh... my bones are bare... I'm the luckiest girl... *sigh* Yeah... and I want you baby!? ...more than anything else...

...more than anything else! ...more than anything else...

...in this... room...? More than anything else...In... the... room.

Love me... or dont... i really dont care anymore... u will beg my luv again, but will never be the same.

sand's off!

"sweet little breads" & "empty still" (two poems)

(this is my 1st luv poem to her...

it's in portuguese... sorry ;))

"sweet little-breads"

"empty still"
(this other one, I posted it 1st at www.shoe.org,

under the nick: willy, on the 30th Oct. 2005 )

empty still
still here, still drunk,
still trying to delude myself from u all,
but inbetween... still here, still real,
still the beast i pretended to release,
still freeze!

was it all meant to be? this sad vision of u & me?
to beat... im free! even speak!?!? is it so?
does anyone here still believes... in this trial of ours?
my empty night, after a while, was nothing but an evening shy, coz...
there will be no fusion! u were never meant to be...
just an illusion to set free!?
i do realise now, i guess it was never new! even equal?
still unreal... as that summer's eve,
when this love was 1st released!

i know, i do so... unwillingly, but...
even still... im for ever done, within this bitter turn?!
u left and ive stayed... unreal... incomplete...

ever me saying... to u...
im a freak!
and i repeat...
im a freak...
and i repeat...
im a freak...

just leave! shift away, like that dead leaf... windy & winning,
unwilling... I treasure u best... my forever regardless quest!

my beloved one,
my inner burn,
my lovely sun...
ever and forever... again i'll be sunday stuned!
coz this sense of lonelyness,
was my most lovely dream... while it burnt...

inbetween... u've gone, all gone...
im moving also... along
never mind me bursting... here & there...
it is all part of our deal?!
to feel the unreal, but never surrending the soul... never meeting our hearts' ordeal?
still... i feel like i'm wasting me... whenever...

"...You make me feel, coz... you make me feel, you make me feel like... a... natural woman!!!..."

why!??? *...sigh...*

sandy

I need a Island... out of lesbos?

"Island"

(HEATHER NOVA LYRICS... with a few "gender" changes!;))

There are parts of me (s)he'll never know,

my wild horses and my river beds,

and in my throat voices (s)he'll never hear....

(s)He pulls at me like a cherry tree,

and I can still move but I don't speak about it...

Pretend I'm crazy, pretend I'm dead...

(s)He's to scared to hit me now...

...(s)he'll bring flowers istead...?

I need an island... somewhere to sink a stone...

I need an island... somewhere to bury you...

Somewhere to go...

And the dogwoods shimmer in October sun...

"oh sweet thing"... (s)he sings to me...

"You're the only one!"

I need an island... somewhere to sink a stone...

I need an island... somewhere to bury you...

Somewhere...

I need an island... somewhere to sink a stone...

I need an island... somewhere to bury you...

Somewhere to go...?

And I don't know why?... I can't tell my sister...

(s)He spat in my face again...

...and I don't want to die here!

You know that dream... when your feet won't move?

You want to come... but your body won't let you!?

(s)He steals it from me... (s)He steals it from me...

It shines like sweat... like jewels...

...like something that has died to soon...

(s)He fucks with the beauty...

A kiss... a kick... a kiss... a kick... a kiss... kiss... kick...

(s)He steals it from me! It's out of my hands again?!

I need an island... somewhere to sink a stone...

I need an island... somewhere to bury you...

Somewhere to go... to go...

SB

Lesbians LOVing... OUT of Synchronism... *sigh*

LESBOS

(a poem by Sylvia Plath)

(...)
And I, love, am a pathological liar,

And my child look at her, face down on the floor,

Little unstrung puppet, kicking to disappear

Why she is schizophrenic,

Her face is red and white, a panic,

You have stuck her kittens outside your window

In a sort of cement well,

Where they crap and puke and cry and she can’t hear.

You say you can’t stand her,

The bastard’s a girl.

You who have blown your tubes like a bad radio,

Clear of voices and history, the staticky noise of the new.

You say I should drown the kittens.

Their smell!

You say I should drown my girl.

(...)
You say your husband is just no good to you.

His Jew-Mama guards his sweet sex like a pearl.

You have one baby, I have two.

I should sit on a rock off Cornwall and comb my hair.

I should wear tiger pants,

I should have an affair.

We should meet in another life, we should meet in air,

Me and you.

(...)
O jewel! O valuable!

That night the moon dragged its blood bag,

Sick animal up over the harbor lights.

And then grew normal,

Hard and apart and white.

The scale-sheen on the sand scared me to death.

We kept picking up handfuls, loving it,

Working it like dough, a mulatto body,

The silk grits.

A dog picked up your doggy husband.

He went on...

(...)
Now I am silent, hate up to my neck,

Thick, thick.

I do not speak.

I am packing the hard potatoes like good clothes,

I am packing the babies, I am packing the sick cats.

O vase of acid,

It is love you are full of.

You know who you hate.

He is hugging his ball and chain down by the gate,

That opens to the sea... where it drives in,

White and black, then spews it back.

Every day you fill him with soul-stuff, like a pitcher.

You are so exhausted.

Your voice my ear-ring,

Flapping and sucking, blood-loving bat.

That is that. That is that.

You peer from the door, sad hag:

"Every woman’s a whore. I can’t communicate."

(...)
I see your cute decor,

Close on you like the fist of a baby... or an anemone,

That sea sweetheart, that kleptomaniac.

I am still raw.

I say I may be back.

You know what lies are for...

Even in your Zen... heaven we shan’t meet..."

Wouldnt it be lovely if love was just a rose?... and you... accepting it just by heart, neverminding the body... just love me in soul? Life would have been much lovelier then...

Sandy