*tara*

Home to...

"...VOLTAREI À MINHA TERRA, QUANDO ESTIVER CANSADO...
... DOS CAMINHOS QUE ME LEVAM A ANDAR DE LADO EM LADO..."
(sang by Teresa Salgueiro)

*O AMANHÃ*

Here's something from the past...

Não sei o dia de amanhã.
Não faço questão.
Planear futuros está fora do meu alcance.
Prevejo, antevejo, sinto, tenho direcção... mas não posso dirigir-me ao local de encontro sozinha.
Tenho que esperar que o mundo em meu redor, me acompanhe... ou me queira acompanhar...

Que el@ perceba o meu trajecto comigo e queira fazer parte... parte de um todo, no seu conjunto... a dois.
Não me adianta amar na essência, saber ser capaz de fazer feliz, se esse alguém não quiser a felicidade a meias... comigo.

Não sei o dia de amanhã.
Não faz mal.
Eu sei que el@ virá assim mesm@...
O melhor a fazer é abraça-l@ sempre... e desejar que (sonhar que?)... el@ queira um abraço a meias comigo.

Não sei o que me espera o amanhã.
Não faz mal.
Sei que amá-l@ (amar-te?) fará sempre parte de mim... mesmo que não sejas tu a amá-l@ comigo.


Lx, 2 setembro 06 (ed.6Março2011)

my last poem... "take from me"

...simple but truthful.

"Take it from me... sweep the need
Take the boat, the sail, the hope... away and go
Let the swamp bread... it will be brief

Anchor my sore:
swipe the harbour,
take a love form... the wave, the sand, the storm!
Sway life of me
Swim light at me

I feel the heart, the stroke...
I see the swap:
a sea so sweet... only swans can cope...

take it from me!"

Statues (Lyrics by Moloko)

Im addicted to this song!:)

So goodnight my dear...
Hope you're feeling well, hope your're feeling very clear
In this song and rhyme...
Thoughts of changes that keep ourselves intact

And yes...
It's hard to fake but I'm faltering, in the steps I'm about to take...
I am sure it's true...
What is all for me, is much the same to you

If all the statues in the world, would turn to flesh... with teeth of pearl
Would they be kind enough to comfort me?
The setting sun is set in stone... and it remains for me alone
To carve my own and set it free...

So we wait and see...
How this backward chapter reads, in verse inadvertently
And it feels like fading light, but that's all that's left...

Only what's left is right...

If all the statues in the world
Would turn to flesh with teeth of pearl
Would they be kind enough to comfort me
The setting sun is set in stone
And it remains for me alone
To carve my own and set it free

Jumping from a balloon...
A carried aloft by a parachute in june
Twisting round and round...
Well... I hope the ground is what you find...

The setting sun is set in stone...
And it remains for me alone, to carve my own... and set it free!

falling...

*By fumbling I died, not falling I’ve loved*

I fumble on your skin
I kiss you deep
all over-
tracing words in promises
over forms of inspiration
asking love how you feel

Not so calm-
I second guess both breathings
rising up your chest
heaving down my lips
I find thy
I find me
through dark voids-
each touch holds us back

You tense & rise
you clench in me
you feel you free
you fall for senseless
locked in both elations
falling from my edge
stretching arms in rest

Fear widens your eyes
filled with my perpetuity
as you implore reflection
to hold you close perfection-

hold you ‘til the day breaking
hold you ‘til the world ending
hold you ‘til your heart stays
hold you ‘til my words lie
tighter than your own
liar than two stones
skin weeping hearts
wrapped around these bones

‘Till you moan your enamoured reprieve
searching for the voice
laying for the dove
telling me you’ve loved
the bleeding of my move

Later-
Searching for retreats
to ever deny the moment
of rushing all those streams
if only you’d forget
pleasures you can’t regret
years after-
claming your innocence
long before my absence
you may ever dream-

Over themes that never happened.


(Lx, Julho 06)

PS. I know i posted this before... still i feel like posting it once more. This is a "shared poem"... writen with another shoe girl... www.shoe.org

Paz & Psicose (a song by Zeca Afonso)

A Paz saltou dos olhos do poeta
Atacada de psicose maniaco-depressiva

Foi nessa altura que as pombas
Solicitaram nas agências as tarifas
Mas nao viram mais o poeta
Que gozava na Suiça
Duma licença graciosa

A Paz saiu aos saltos para a rua
Comeu mostarda
Bebeu sangria
A Paz sentou-se em cima duma grua
Atacada de astenia

Foi nessa altura que as pombas
Solicitaram nas agências as tarifas
Mas nao viram mais o poeta
Que gozava na Suiça
Duma licença graciosa

change (aka " O Retorno da Alma) an experimental *poem* by me.

"O Retorno Da Alma"

Ninguem muda naquilo que é.
Porque na muda, o ser de si proprio, deixou de ser... no ser que era: a essencia.
O melhor de nós ao mundo, é a tentativa individual de adaptação.
O não adaptado, extinguiu-se... darwin?
A essencia da vida... vive, nasce, morre... com... nosco.
A essencia na vida... é ser una, simples... unica?
Mudar é morrer na unicidade de deus.
Adapta-te o mais possivel.
O exterior é mutavel.
... mas o interior... a deus pertence... é teu.... ateu?
Guarda-o, resguarda-o, protege-o com unhas e dentes!
Abraça longe, todos aquel@s que quiserem transformar-te... num seu sonho...
E o teu?
Atreve-te a dizer não ao mais amado... ou um dia vais ver-te acordado... a abraços num pesadelo meu: a alma sem retorno.


Lx. 19-20jan2011

Playing along... the poker life & sigh!

So... here's a song, by that living lady goddeesssssssss--- gaga! The best thing on stage...since... sigh... I dont know? Elvis?lol ;)


Poker Face Lyrics:

"Mum mum mum mah, Mum mum mum mah
I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas Plays
Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me
(I love it)
Love game intuition play the cards with Spades to start
And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart

Oh, oh oh oh oh, o-o-o-o-o-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh oh oh oh, o-o-o-o-o-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Can't read my, Can't read my
No he can't read-a my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)
Can't read my, Can't read my
No he can't read-a my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-Fuck Her face (Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-Fuck Her face (Mum mum mum mah)

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when you're with me
(I love it)
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love if its not rough it isn't fun, fun

Oh, oh oh oh oh, o-o-o-o-o-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Oh, oh oh oh oh, o-o-o-o-o-oh
I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
Can't read my, Can't read my
No he can't read-a my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)
Can't read my, Can't read my
No he can't read-a my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)

P-p-p-Poker face, p-p-Fuck Her face (Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-Poker face, p-p-Fuck Her face (Mum mum mum mah)
I won't tell you that I love you, Kiss or hug you
Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin
I'm not lying I'm just stunnin', with my love-glue-gunning
Just like a chick in the casino
Take your bank, before I pay you out
I promise this, promise this
Check this hand, cause I'm marvelous!


Can't read my, Can't read my
No he can't read-a my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)
Can't read my, Can't read my
No he can't read-a my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)
Can't read my, Can't read my
(...)
Can't read my, Can't read my
No he can't read-a my poker face
(she’s got me like nobody)
Can't read my, Can't read my
No he can't read-a my poker face
(she’s got to love nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-Fuck Her face (Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker her face, p-p-Fuck Her face (Mum mum mum mah"


PS. .... sigh... except for my sweet Pina Bausch... of course... i still cant believe she died?!?? she was the one, that manage to put dance in words for me!

Did u ever read her things? You should try this book called "Pina Bausch: Teatro dell'Esperanza, Danza della Vitta" (in Portuguese is called: "Falem-me de Amor"!lol none to do with the original title, go figure?)... still... its just amazing stuff!:)

But I simply cant believe it she is dead, u know?
I used to have this dream... one day, I would do an "audiction"/dance for "her"... with her company...sigh... and i when i thought to be so closed to it... she died.

I dont know... she did a show on a sunday evening... and a few days later was dead?! Dancers dont die like this? Our body can resist to so much... how could this be? Was it suicide? no one says... She didi smoke a lot.... lung cancer maybe? Still... I cant believe it.... and i'll never will believe her to be "gone".

So... I guess this is some sort of...mmmm.... "late tribute" to this SUPER human-WOMAN, that made me undertsand in spirit... my love for dance in "place" (=body).! :))))

Im sure that, if she and Lady Gaga would have ever met, on a stage somewhere... it would've been simply explosive!!!!!lol

May u be dancing with some crazy *angels* up there... sweet Pina:)
While we KEEP ON DANCING... still... "down here" too!

Sandy

Black Rook in Rainy Weather" by Sylvia Plath

On the stiff twig up there
Hunches a wet black rook
Arranging and rearranging its feathers in the rain-
I do not expect a miracle
Or an accident

To set the sight on fire
In my eye, nor seek
Any more in the desultory weather some design,
But let spotted leaves fall as they fall
Without ceremony, or portent.

Although, I admit, I desire,
Occasionally, some backtalk
From the mute sky, I can't honestly complain:
A certain minor light may still
Lean incandescent

Out of kitchen table or chair
As if a celestial burning took
Possession of the most obtuse objects now and then --
Thus hallowing an interval
Otherwise inconsequent

By bestowing largesse, honour
One might say love.
At any rate, I now walk
Wary (for it could happen, even in this dull, ruinous landscape)
Sceptical, yet politic, ignorant

Of whatever angel any choose to flare
Suddenly at my elbow.
I only know that a rook
Ordering its black feathers can so shine
As to seize my senses, haul
My eyelids up, and grant

A brief respite from fear
Of total neutrality.
With luck,
Trekking stubborn through this season
Of fatigue,
I shall patch together a content
of sorts.

Miracles occur.

If you care to call those spasmodic
Tricks of radiance
Miracles.
The wait's begun again,
The long wait for the angel,

For that rare, random descent.

Life, death and the change that never ends...

Forget not yet the tried intent'

'Forget not yet, forget not this,
How long ago hath been, and is,
The mind that never meant amiss.
Forget not yet.

Forget not yet thine own approved,
The which so long hath thee so loved,
Whose steadfast faith yet never moved:
Forget not this.'

by Sir Thomas Wyatt

A Mitologia e as (ditas) Ciências Exactas?

"Entre a História e a Mitologia, prefiro a segunda. A História parte da verdade e ruma em direcção à mentira... enquanto que a Mitologia, parte de uma mentira... mas procura aproximar-se da verdade!" (by Jean Cocteau)

In "Eu Me Lembro" de Mestre De Rose (Edições Afrontamento)

*lost in translation*

I've been "out" 4 a while, coz... Im leaving my home country!!! At last!!! (again?) But this time is... 4 good!!!

It has become unbearable to live in here... this portuguese Prime Minister is the BIGGEST THIEF ever! And he always gets away from justice...sigh... there is no other choice but... sadly... leave!

I'll be posting again... once I get to France! See you all than!:);)

El Desierto ... your love. (Lyrics by Lhasa)

You just need to really listen the voice of this woman!??? :)

"He venido al desierto, para irme de tu amor...
Que el desierto es más tierno... y la espina besa mejor!
He venido a este centro, de la nada pa gritar...
Que tú nunca mereciste, lo que tanto quise dar?
Que tú nunca mereciste, lo que tanto quise dar... haha...

He venido al desierto, pa irme de tu amor...
Que el desierto es más tierno... y la espina besa mejor...
He venido a este centro, de la nada pa gritar...
Que tú nunca mereciste...

He venido yo corriendo, olvidándome de ti?
Dame un beso pajarillo... no te asustes colibrí!
He venido encendida, al desierto pa quemar...
Porque el alma prende fuego, cuando deja de amar!
Porque el alma prende fuego, cuando deja de amar... haha..

He venido yo corriendo... olvidándome de ti!
Dame un beso pajarillo, y no te asustes colibrí?
He venido encendida... al desierto pa quemar...
Porque el alma prende fuego...
.... quando deja de amar!???"

Sábias palavras "alheias"...

... here's a nice "portuguese saying", that a dear friend sent me recently by mail:

"QUEM DE DENTRO DE SI NÃO SAI, VAI ACABAR POR MORRER SEM AMAR NINGUÉM"

:);)

*Retaliation* is ON!

"Safe From Harm"
(parts of *Tricky* lyrics)

"Midnight ronkers, city slickers, gunmen and maniacs...
All will feature on the freakshow...
And I can't do nothing about that, no...
But if you hurt what's mine, I'll sure as hell retaliate!

You can free the world, you can free my mind...
Just as long as... my baby's safe from harm tonight!
You can free the world, you can free my mind...
Just as long as... my baby's safe from harm tonight!

I was lookin' back... to see if you were lookin' back at me?
To see me lookin' back... at you.

Lucky dippers, crazy chancers... seems to be moving fast?
What happened to the nice cities, of my childhood days?
Well... i can't do nothing 'bout that, no...
But if you hurt what's mine... I'll sure as hell retaliate!!!

I was lookin' back... to see if you were...
I was looking... I was... I was lookin' back, to see if you were lookin' back at me? To see me... lookin' back at you!

You can free the world, you can free my mind...
Just as long as... my baby's safe from harm tonight!
You can free the world, you can free my mind...
Just as long as... my baby's safe from harm tonight!

Tell us what it's dangerous?
Friends and enemies... I find it's contagious!?
And they're spreading through your system... like a virus!
Yes... the trouble in the end... it makes you anxious...

I was lookin' back... to see if you were...
I was looking... I was... I was lookin' back, to see if you were lookin' back at me? To see me... lookin' back at you!

But if you hurt what's mine... I'll sure as hell retaliate!"

It is YOUR grave, not mine. (lyrics by Dead Can Dance)

"I am stretched on your grave
And will lie there forever
With your hands held in mine
I'd be sure we'd not sever
My apple tree my brightness
'Tis time we were together
For I smell of the earth
And am stained by the weather

When my family thinks
That I'm safe in my bed
From night until morning
I am stretched at your head
Calling out to the air
With tears both hot and wild
Oh I grieve for the girl
That I loved as a child

The priests and the friars
Behold me in dread
Because I still love you
My love and you're dead
I would still be your shelter
From rain and from storm
And with you in your cold grave
I cannot sleep warm"

Oh, but I will feel warm... against all odds, I will survive the storm!
Coz... my life now... is mine to belong.

Driving a... DEAD soul...

I will keep my helmet on...

Find someone that cares for you...
And I... will dress my songs... cause I care for you!
'cause I... will take my time... driving you slow?

Driving out, cause I care for you!
And then... someone loves you... but I don't care for you?
And I.. I will keep my love!
'cause I will be... your love.
oh no...

Hundred times... I could care for you...
But then... I found that girl, that could smile for you?
And I... start to be something...
And I... I don't care!?
Why should I care?

I will get my life! 'cause... I will be your love!
Oh no...

Don't look back, don't look back, don't look back... Don't look back!

I will kill my world!
I will sing my song!
And I... I will keep my helmet on...
And I... I will kill my world, I will sing my song, I will keep my smile on...

And you... you could rule my world... you can rule my songs...
But I... I will keep my helmet on!
And then... I will kill your world!
I will sing my song... I will keep my helmet on...
Oh no...

Oh don't... don't, oh don't... don't you?
Find someone that cares for you!
And I... I will dress my songs, cause I care for me!
And I... I will take my time... driving you slow...
Driving out, cause I cared for you...
And then... someone loves... you? but I don't care for you...
And I... 'cause I will get my love... and I will be loved.

Oh no... Don't look back!
Don't look back... don't look back... don't look back.
And now... I will kill my world, I will sing my song...
I will keep my helmet on.

(lyrics by "The Gift")

A Rosa ausente d'Alma

"Cinzento Metal" (by Rosa Melo)
Vou polindo, afincadamente
o alumínio
Vidra-se a àgua, só assim... invisível.

Limpeza geral,
hoje, amanhã... sempre.
Eu... ou a... Outra:
... para que à noite me sinta bem.

Construção sobre escombros,
cabeça clara... hoje...
Para amanhã... desabrochar em rosa.

Deixo-te dormir.
Que não neve neste nosso céu...

Get around!!!!!!!

(lyrics by M.A.U. - man and unable )
Hey, pretty baby,
Wont you come with me?
Cause i got,
Something different
That you wanna see...
Cause i want you!
Yes, i want you!

Hey, pretty lady,
Could you dance with me?
Cause i got,
Something cool... that you wanna feel!
Yes, i want you!
Oh, i want you!

I wanna do it like this...
I wanna do it like that...
I wanna do it over here!
I wanna do it over there...
Cause i love you!
Or maybe i just... wanna fuck you!

I wanna do it like this!
I wanna do it like that...
I wanna do it over here...
I wanna do it over there!
Cause i love you...
Or maybe i just wanna... fuck you!

Cause i'm feeling like this...
Yes, i'm feeling like this!
Cause i'm feeling like a... mother fucker... baby!
Yeh, I'm feeling like a mother fucker... baby...

Yes, i'm feeling like this!
Cause i'm feeling like this!
Cause i'm feeling like a mother fucker... baby...
Yeh, I'm feeling like a murderer... baby!
Yes, i'm feeling like this... this, this! dance... dance...
Dance, dance... this... this.

A new moon is rising...

... a new era is calling... be there, or you'll be nowhere!

the big black hole...

"Dying...
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels like real.
I guess you could say I’ve a call."

– From Lady Lazarus by Sylvia Plath

Im dedicating this blog entry... to one deeply lost soul... hoping that one day, she might gain light into her heart again... instead of losing it at all... to the "big black void".

I seriously doubt it... but one can always hope?

Leiria city!

So... here I came once more... but this time, to say goodbye to the dream: "turning my lovely *River Liz*, into a mermaids' swimming place..."... still... No can do! So it seems... and so... Im gonna swim somewhere new!!! :);)

boom!

Im just leaving this one sentence, I've heard today... its from this portuguese folk-song... its OUT there, to whomever it may "fit"...

"De que serve ter coração... e não ter o amor de ninguém?" (Simone)

Meaning... viver para quê? viver o quê? se desistirmos de amar?
And so... de hora em diante, aos que se apresentarem na vida, sem coração nem alma... por mim... off with their heads!

Vai tudo a baixo!!!

Walk away from bloody-love!

Like one good friend in germany would say...
"Sometimes u just have to walk away... walk away..."
Even if it means "others" will fall down.
There ppl that just cant imagine "pure love" and hapiness... to those... all we can do is "wish them the best", but... walk away... and believe me... you will fall hard sweetheart!

Um final... assim assim... é bem mais facil de entender.

(Lyrics by The Gift)

"Talvez por não saber falar de cor, imaginei?
Talvez por saber o que não será melhor, aproximei?
Meu corpo é o teu corpo, o desejo entregue a nós...sei lá eu o que queres dizer.

Despedir-me de ti, "Adeus, um dia, voltarei a ser feliz."
Eu já não sei se sei o que é sentir o teu amor não sei o que é sentir.

Se por falar, falei, pensei que se falasse era fácil de entender.
Talvez por não saber falar de cor, imaginei.
Triste é o virar de costas, o último adeus sabe Deus o que quero dizer.

Obrigado por saberes cuidar de mim, tratar de mim, olhar para mim...
Escutar quem sou e se ao menos tudo fosse igual a ti...
Eu já não sei se sei o que é sentir o teu amor não sei o que é sentir.

Se por falar, falei, pensei que se falasse era fácil de entender.
Eu já não sei se sei o que é sentir o teu amor não sei o que é sentir.

Se por falar, falei, pensei que se falasse era fácil de entender. É o amor que chega ao fim. Um final assim, assim é mais fácil de entender... Eu já não sei se sei o que é sentir o teu amor não sei o que é sentir.

Se por falar, falei, pensei que se falasse é mais fácil de entender.
Eu já não sei se sei o que é sentir o teu amor não sei o que é sentir.

Se por falar, falei, pensei que se falasse era fácil de entender."


E afinal era td uma cambada de analfabetos de merda... e andei anos a pregar aos peixes, nesta puta de país q me pariu!? FUI:

I FIGHT EVIL WITH EVIL!

hands

Here's a poem by someone else... Ana Tejino.

Vivo de momentos inacabados,
Relações infinitas…
Nada depois do Fim fica finalmente encerrado!
Há sempre dedos entrelaçados,
Uma palavra que não se cala!

E sem querer viver assim
Mantenho-me ligada a cordões infinitos
De vidas passadas!

E o tempo não remata os pontos
De cada sonho vivido
Em épocas de transição!

Mundos ocupados de vidas paralelas!

Não quero mais…
Quero ter o MEU Mundo ocupado por MIM
E por quem de direito!

Quero exclusividade e egoísmo,
Ser apenas um Ser de Um Ser,
De limites delimitados,
Linhas curvas bem delineadas
E ser só Eu e Tu!

"Adeus... não afastes os teus olhos dos meus..." (a song by David Fonseca)

"Quando dormes... e te esqueces... o que vês? Tu quem és?
Quando eu voltar... o que vais dizer?
Vou sentar... no meu lugar...

Adeus!... não afastes os teus olhos dos meus!...
Isolar para sempre... este tempo... é tudo o que tenho... para dar!

Quando acordas... por quem chamas tu?
Vou esperar... eu vou ficar... nos teus braços!
Eu vou conseguir... fixar... o teu ar... a tua surpresa!...?

Adeus... não afastes os teus olhos... dos meus...
Eu vou agarrar este tempo... e nunca mais largar!

Adeus! Não afastes os teus braços... dos meus!
Vou ficar para sempre neste tempo.. eu vou... vou conseguir pará-lo.
Vou conseguir... pará-lo... parar!

Vou conseguir... parar... vou conseguir...

Adeus... não afastes os teus olhos dos meus!
Vou ficar para sempre neste tempo...
Eu vou conseguir pará-lo...
Eu vou conseguir guardá-lo...
Eu vou conseguir... ficar."

"Nunca" (a poem by Rosa de Melo)

Uma ilha
e um quarto nela
O cão deitado
aos pés
A areia dormindo
cegando

Olhos rasos de cortinas
ao alto
P
a
r
e
d
e
s

Águas dançantes
as lambem
Beijam...
...não...
...beijam

Repetidamente... ondas.

Uma ilha
e tantas outras:

Cão...
Águas...
Cortinas...
Paredes...

Um quarto
Ninguém está
...Só.

The End.

Ive had an awful dream tonight... and I believe something died inside me, that cant be brought "back"... im sorry, but I must go and take care of my heart... so... this will be the end for me:

"A second time, to have him near again--
A paper image to lay against her heart
The way she laid his letters, till they grew warm
And seemed to give her warmth, like a live skin
But it is she who is paper now, warmed by no one"

In "Widow", by Sylvia Plath



PS. Sabem quem é que também morreu ontem de noite... em Lisboa? O Peixe-Lua do Oceanário... sigh.

"Some say love"... lyrics by Amanda Mcbroom

Some say love... it is a river... that drowns... the tender reed...
Some say love... it is a razer... that leaves... your soul to bleed...

Some say love... it is a hunger... an endless aching need...
I say love... it is a flower... and you... it's only seed...

It's the heart... afraid of breaking... that never... learns to dance...
It's the dream... afraid of waking... that never... takes the chance...
It's the one... who won't be taken... who can... not seem to give?
And the soul... afraid of dying... that never... learns to live!?

When the night... has been too lonely... and the road... has been too long...
And you think... that love is only... for the lucky... and the strong?

Just remember... in the winter... far beneath... the bitter snow... lies the seed... that with the sun's love ... in the spring... becomes... the *ROSE*!:)

*Blissful Hands* (a french poem)

This is something I wrote a few years back... at this lesbian site:
www.shoe.org (my nick was "peel")

"Je veux bien... tiens!
Mes mains sont à toi aussi...

Regardes le soleil là bas... lui te souvient rien?
Peut être ton souris?
Oh... et les mains... *sigh*
(le *soupire* toujours petit)
Mais je l'ais promis!
Mon amour... je reviens!

Je te donnerai du plaisir,
s'il te plairait à toi aussi?
S’il nous voudrait... ma petite chérie,
Tes mains dans les miennes...
Toujours les illusions reviennent :):)

Mais ne sourit pas encore...
Mon coeur... il est à tout à vis aussi mort...
Mais je reviendrais... je t’ais promis!

Tandis que ça nous arrive... je vous an prie:
Apprivoise moi toi aussi...
...dedans ton *souris-soupir*!:)"

peel


Note!
"hands" (mains) in portuguese is a 'féminin' word... im not sure if they are 'masculin' in french though? i'd rather see them as 'femme'!;)

*By fumbling I died, not falling I’ve loved* (one more poem...by "me")

"I fumble on your skin
I kiss you deep
all over-
tracing words in promises
over forms of inspiration
asking love how you feel

Not so calm-
I second guess both breathings
rising up your chest
heaving down my lips
I find thy
I find me
through dark voids-
each touch holds us back

You tense & rise
you clench in me
you feel you free
you fall for senseless
locked in both elations
falling from my edge
stretching arms in rest

Fear widens your eyes
filled with my perpetuity
as you implore reflection
to hold you close perfection-

hold you ‘til the day breaking
hold you ‘til the world ending
hold you ‘til your heart stays
hold you ‘til my words lie
tighter than your own
liar than two stones
skin weeping hearts
wrapped around these bones

‘Till you moan your enamoured reprieve
searching for the voice
laying for the dove
telling me you’ve loved
the bleeding of my move

Later-
Searching for retreats
to ever deny the moment
of rushing all those streams
if only you’d forget
pleasures you can’t regret
years after-
claming your innocence
long before my absence
you may ever dream-

Over themes that never happened."


Note!
This poem was written "fifty-fifty" with another shoe girl... www.shoe.org


Lx, Julho 06

*Global Globe*

Ajuda-me minha flor! A tua cor é mais forte que a minha luz.

Desperdicei toda a minha voz a encantar-te, enquanto fugia dos outros. A torrada que comeste, a música que ouviste, aquele chá que bebemos as duas... haviam duas cadeiras brancas que cercaram tudo isso.
As cadeiras forma lacradas na tinta azul. Fui dizer-lhes que te esperava de novo. Onde está a minha outra metade?

O globo de vidro que comprei, para te simbolizar na minha mente, ainda aqui está ao meu lado. Já há mais coisas que me lembram de ti, do que aquelas que me afastam. Já foram mais os meses maus, que os meses que passámos em conversas com deus.
Porque aceitaste a minha flor, se não era para ser verdade o amor? Não posso crer no que dizes, apenas aquilo que sinto. Sempre me segui por isto.

Vamos duas a duas, a bicicleta pode levar mais do que uma. Disseram-me para seguir o caminho da Índia, para pedir ajuda à serpente e voltar à vida perdida... Vou dar o resto por isto.
Tenho dores de estômago, já devolvi mais um gato, não consegui ressuscitar a cerejeira, será que a raiz também já vai insegura?

O epílogo deste amor, vai ser vivido numa noite escura. Noite sem lua. A minha aura vai estar quase sem mais nada, num outro lance de escada... por um envelope que ficou esquecido, vou voltar atrás de bicicleta. O teu carro sem luz, vai cruzar e chocar comigo. Um encontro forçado, uma conversa puxada, um jantar oferecido, depois um carinho sentido.

Na noite sem lua das bruxas, vai haver um buraco negro que nos suga às duas... numa noite de amor.

Lx., 14 Agosto 2010
(ed. a 3 Set.2010)

Lyrics by Sarah Mclachlan (Terms)

I knew you wanted to tell me...
In your voice there was something wrong?
But if you would turn... your face away from me,
You cannot tell me you’re so strong?

Just let me ask of you... one small thing?
As we've shared so many tears...
With fervor our dreams... we planned a whole life long!
Now are scattered on the wind...

Chorus
In the terms of endearment
In the terms of the life that you love
In the terms of the years that pass you by
In the terms of the reasons why

Through the years I’ve grown to love you...
Though your commitment... to most would offend,
But I stuck by you! holding on with my foolish pride...?!
Waiting for you... to give in...

You never really tried... or so it seems?
I’ve had more than myself to blame... (!?)
I’ve had enough of trying everything!
And this time... it is the end...

Chorus

There’s no more coming back... this way!
The path is overgrown... and strewn with thorns!
They’ve torn the life-blood... from your naked eyes!?
Cast aside... to be forlorn...

Chorus

Funny, how it seems that... all I’ve tried to do... seems to make no difference... to you... at all... and yet... I've tried... oh... I try...

"Horses" by Tori Amos

"Beauty Queen - Horses"

Hey Hey
She's a Beauty Queen
My sweet bean bag in the street
Take it
Down out to the laundry scene
Don't know why she's in my hand
Can't figure what it is
But I lie again

I got me some horses
To ride on
To ride on
They say that your demons
Can't go there
So I got me some horses
To ride on
To ride on
As longs as your army
Keeps perfectly still
And maybe I'll find me a sailor
A tailor
And maybe together
We'll Make mother well
So I got me some horses
To ride on
To ride on
As long as you army
Keeps perfectly still
You showed me the meadow
And Milkwood
And Silkwood
and you would if I would
But you never would
So I chased down your posies
Your pansies in my hosies
Then opened me hands
And they were empty then

Off with Superfly
Sniffing a Sharpie pen
Honey it's Bill and Ben
Off with Superfly
Counting your bees
Oh me honey like
One two three
The camera is rolling
It's easy like
One
Two
Three

And if there is a way to find you
I will find you
But will you find me if Neil
Makes me a tree
an afro
a pharaoh
I can't go
You said so
And threads that are golden
Don't break easily
So I got me some horses
To ride on
To ride on

You say that your demons
Can't go there
So I got me some horses
To ride on
To ride on
As long as your army
Keeps perfectly still
Keeps perfectly still
Keeps perfectly still

"Tricky-did"

Im just addicted to this SOUND & Lyrics!
(by Tricky)


Tricky:one-two one-two
huh, one-two one-two one-two
d:mikecheck
Tricky:that won't front
braggin' on the stunts
coke in ya nose
d:coke in ya nose
Tricky:knock out ya gold fronts

that won't front
braggin' on your stunts
coke in ya nose
knock out ya gold fronts (with d)
Here comes the Nazarene
look good in that magazine
Haile Selassie
they look after i
god will recieve us
got me like jesus
god will recieve us
got me like jesus (with d)
mary magdalaine
that'd be my first sin
being with this temptress
d:yeahhhh

Tricky: it's a mongrel rage
it's a new age
as long as you're humble
let you be the king of jungle
we run everything
always and ever
has been has been
heard there's german-jamaicans
with twisted faces
same as it ever was
tell me what the race is (with d)
it's surreal
they're not real
i put them on their places
d:yeahhhhh

Tricky:they used to call me tricky-kid
i lived the life they wished they did
Lived the life, don't own a car
and now they call me superstar

d:tell'm where you at baby ahhhh!
Tricky:they used to call me tricky-kid
i lived the life they wished they did (with d)
i lived the life don't own a car
and now they call me superstar (with d)
are you disturbed? i'll be with..
everybody wants to know what my momma did
i'll tell you everything
i'll tell you lies
look deep into my mongrel eyes

d:tell me what you see
tell me what you see
tell me what you see
when you look into these mongrel eyes... ahhhh!

Tricky:that won't front
braggin' on the stunts
coke in ya nose
knock out ya gold fronts (with d)
Here comes the Nazarene
look good in that magazine (with d)
Haile Selassie
they look after i
god will recieve us
got me like jesus
mary magdalaine
that'd be my first sin
being with this temptress
d:wahhhhhhh

it's a mongol rage
it's a new age
as long as ya humble
let ya be the king of jungle
we run everything
always and ever
has been has been

d:tell me what you see...
Tricky:heard there's german-jamaicans
with twisted faces
d:faces
Tricky:same as it ever was
d:same as it ever was
Tricky:tell me what the race is
it's surreal
they're not real
i put them by their places
d:see it
Tricky:they used to call me tricky-kid (with d)
i lived the life they wished they did (with d)
Lived the life, don't own a car
and now they call me superstar (with d)
are you disturbed? i'll be with..
everybody wants to know what my momma did

i'll tell you everything
i'll tell you lies
look deep into my mongrel eyes
everybody wants a record deal
and everybody wants a...
and everybody wants a record deal
d:fuck it the deal
Tricky:everybody wants to be naked and famous
d:naked and famous
Tricky:and everybody wants to be naked and famous
d:naked and famous
Tricky:and everybody wants to be just like me
i'm the kid
and famous (with d)

d:check it
Tricky:they used to call me tricky-kid
i lived the life they wished they did
i lived the life don't own a car
but now they call me superstar (with d)
are you disturbed? i'm on with..
everybody wants to know what my momma did

i'll tell you everything
i'll tell you lies
look deep into these mongrel eyes (with d)
d:check it
what do you see?
Tricky:if you test and turn the tables
We're gonna get in, smoke up (with d)

and we're starting to unturn your label (with d)
and everybody who got a record deal
and everybody wants to be naked and famous
everybody's got a record deal
and everybody wants to be naked and famous
d:naked and famous

Tricky:everybody wants to be just like me
i'm the kid
and famous (with d)
ha ha
and everybody wants a record deal
d:everybody
Tricky:and everybody just wants to be like me
i'm the kid
and famous (with d)
and famous

that won't front
braggin' on the stunts
and coke in ya nose
knock out ya gold fronts (with d)
Here comes the Nazarene
you look good in that magazine
Haile Selassie
they look after i
god will recieve us
got me like jesus
mary magdalaine
that'd be my first sin
being with this temptress
d:ahhhhhhhh
Tricky:being with this temptress

it's a mongrel rage
it's a new age
as long as ya humble
let ya be the king of jungle
we run everything
always and ever
has been has been
d:same as it ever was
Tricky:we run everything
always and ever
has been has been
d:same as it ever was
Tricky:heard there's german-jamaicans
with twisted faces
same as it ever was
tell me what the race is
it's surreal
they're not real
i'm gonna put them on their places

d:hey, check
Tricky:we run everything
always and ever
has been has been
d:yeahhhhh
Tricky:we run everything
always and ever
has been has been
d:tell'm where...
Tricky:heard there's german-jamaicans
with twisted faces
same as it ever was
tell me what the race is (with d)
it's surreal
they're not real
i-i put them where their place is

they used to call me...
d:what'd they call you, what they call you
Tricky:they used to call me
d:tricky-kid tricky-kid
Tricky:they used to call me tricky-kid (with d)
i lived the life they wished they did (with d)
d:tricky-kid tricky-kid
Tricky:they used to call me tricky-kid (with d)

i lived the life they wished they did (with d)
Lived the life, don't own a car
and now they call me superstar (with d)
i lived the life
d:you lived the life tricky-kid
(fade out)

"meu amor sem flor"

(this is not so much a 'poem', but just something i wrote the other day... when i tried in vain, to see this 'ancient love', in this 'ancient town'... I left her a flower (flor) in her doorstep...)





'O meu amor nem a vi...
O meu amor anda triste, cansada, sozinha...
Deixei-lhe uma flor, repassei e já lá não estava
Foi o vento?
Foste tu quem a colheu?

O meu amor não tem flor...
O meu amor anda triste, não lhe vejo a alma há tanto tempo...
Não lhe sinto o cheiro
Não lhe oiço a voz... o bater do ventre...
O meu amor anda doente...
Deixou de me ter por perto, o coração está só... mesmo sem me querer, o meu amor era presente.
O meu amor anda doente
A minha princesa não sorri
O meu amor, hoje nem o vi...

O meu amor sem flor...
Levou-te o vento?
Deixou-te o meu amor?
Oh meu amor não te vejo...
Eu tento
Eu intento
Eu procuro-te!
Eu e o vento...
Oh meu amor a tua flor!
Oh meu amor... foste tu? Foi o vento?
Oh minha flor... que te deixei...
Perdoa-me... Eu agora voltei.

Oh meu amor que não te encontro... abandonei-o... ao vento?
Deixei-te uma flor... foste com ele?
O meu amor abandonou a dor? O amor?
Fui eu? Fomos as duas?
Oh meu amor em flor... a tua ausência cresce em mim.
O vento sopra-me sem efeito
As flores olham-me sem brilho
Nada me parece sincero
A tua ausência tira-me do real... do sério... de mim...

Oh meu amor sem flor...

Hoje procurei-te
Ontem intentei-te
Hoje me despeço
A flor não está... levaste-a tu?
Ficaram duas pétalas caídas... ficamos nós duas?
Oh meu amor sem flor... não te deixei... não te deixei...
O abandono foi de dor
O coração morria de amor

Oh meu amor sem flor
Hoje procurei-te
hoje não te vi
Hoje deixei-te...
Hoje tenho que me ir novamente...

Oh meu amor sem dor
Oh minha flor
Deus queira que tenha sido pela tua mão, que a minha flor voo...
Deus queira que tenha sido pelo teu coração, que o meu amor ficou.'

(Évora, 17 Julho 05)